The end of a marriage is rarely easy on your emotions. While it may be tempting to shut down emotionally, it’s actually very important to pay attention to what you’re feeling so that you can handle it in the healthiest way possible.
There are a lot of things to take care of in a divorce — upset children, new housing, piles of paperwork. It’s important to take care of yourself too. The following emotions are all likely to occur in the process of a divorce. Some of them you may expect, but others might surprise you!
Sadness
Even if you were unhappy in your marriage and you know that a fresh start is your key to escaping sadness and finding happiness, there’s always a certain melancholy to closing one chapter and starting a new one. It’s totally normal to miss the good times you had with your spouse when things were still good and to mourn the end of those days.
Guilt
Whether you feel like you should have tried harder to make your marriage work, or you can’t stand watching your children feeling stressed and confused as a consequence of your actions, guilt is a commonly felt emotion in a divorce. Even if you’re totally blameless, it’s likely that you’ll find something to feel guilty about. It is essential to remember that in most cases, the decision to divorce is made because both parties agree that it will be better in the long term for all involved. Don’t let your guilt eat you up.
Relief
Some days during your divorce process, you will probably feel like a giant weight has been lifted off your shoulders. Embrace this release! You are finally free from the tedious arguments, frustrating lack of romance, or other sources of dissatisfaction you endured in your marriage. It’s okay to want to celebrate.
Regret
Feeling regret does not mean that divorce was the wrong decision. It’s natural to question big life choices, to wonder “What if I’d made a different decision?” To a certain extent, entertaining these thoughts is a healthy part of the process. However, if you decide you’ve actually changed your mind, it’s important to express this to your spouse and attorney before the process gets too far along.
Excitement
You’ve heard the old saying, “When one door closes, another opens.” It’s okay to feel excited about all the opportunities and adventures on the horizon! Your excitement can help balance out the more negative feelings you experience and can remind you that there are better things to come.
Finding Peace
Navigating all of these ups and downs is certainly a challenge, but it is much better than repressing your feelings. You will ultimately find more peace after your divorce if you own your emotional journey. So tune in to your feelings, and take care of yourself! If it feels like too much to handle on your own, it may be helpful to contact a therapist.
At the Law Offices of Kayleene H. Writer, PLC, we can give you more time to take care of yourself emotionally by making sure that the legal side of things is taken care of for you. We have extensive experience with family law in California and would be happy to help you with your divorce. Contact us online or give us a call at (949) 353-6151.